La storia di Cappuccetto Rosso in versione scompisciosa
The bellissim' story of Cappuccet Red (in anglo-veneto language)
One mattin her mamma dissed: "Dear Cappuccet, take this cest to the nonn, but attention to the lup that is very ma very kattiv! You go and torn prèst!
Good luck! And in boc at the lup!".
Cappuccet went away, da sol, with de cest. Cammining, cammining, in the cuor of the forest, at acert punt she incontrered the lup, who dissed : "Hi Piccula girl! 'Ndove do you go"? "To de nonn with this little cest full of a chocolate and biscots and panettons and mores and mirtills" she dissed. "Ah, mannagg!” dissed the lup, with a fium of saliv out of the boc.
And so the lup dissed: "Bhe, now I dev andar because the telephonin is squilling, sorry." And the lup went away, but non very away, but to the nonn's house. Cappuccet Red, who was very ma very lent, lent un casin, continued for her sentier in the forest. The lup arrived at the house, suoned the campanel, entered, and after saluting the nonn, magned her in a bocon. Then, after sputing the dentier, he indossed the ridicol night-berret and fikked himself in the let. When Cappuccet Red come to the fint nonn, suoned and entered in house. But when the little and stupid girl saw the nonn (non the true nonn, but the lup, remember?) dissed: "But nonn, why do you stay in let?". And the nonn-lup: "Oh, l've stort my cavigl doing aerobics!".
"Oh, poor nonn!" dissed Cappuccet. Then she dissed: "But... what big okks you nave! Do you bisogn some collir?". "Ho no! It's for see you better, my dear (stupid) little girl" dissed the nonn-lup. Then Cappuccet, who was more dur than a block of marm: "But what big oreks you have! Do you have the Orekkions?". And the nonn-Iup: "Oh no! It is to ascolt you better". And Cappuccet (that I think was really rincoglionited) : "But what big dents you have!". And the lup, at this moment dissed: "It is for magnar you better!".
And magned tutt quant the poor little girl. But out of the house a simpatic, curious and innocent cacciator of frod sented all and dissed: "Accident! A lup! Its pellicc val a sac of money". And so spinted only from a compassion for the little girl, butted a land many kills of volps, fringuells and conigls that he had ammazzed, imbracced the fucil, entered in the house and killed the lup.
Then squarced his panz (being attent non to rovin the pellic) and tired for a the nonn (still alive) and Cappuccet (stili rincoglionited). And so, at the end, the cacciator of frod vended the pellic and guadagned honestly a sac of money. The nonn magned all the leccornies that were in the cest.
And so, everybody lived felix and content (maybe not the lup).